It's (HE) so disconnected... member lost!

[Psalm Project]

Folks... I'm in a quandry!
I had a call from one of my choir members last night who has decided to leave my choir - nothing at all to do with the music...
It's seems to be the priest this time! (Head down guys... )
This particular priest (in his 70's) - very nice and gentle person - very conservative homilist (which may be the problem)...

I tried very hard not to 'react' when my former alto said - 'I can't stick it anymore... He is SO disconnected with what is going on in our lives'... THAT is what he should be preaching about!' - not all this stuff about stuff that happened 2000 years ago!
(By the way - some of my singers are there mainly for the music! - a bit like being in the pub only for the beer! )
Well, what was going through MY head was... 'Well, maybe you are so disconnected from what is going on in the mass, maybe you are eclipsing matters'... But, I held my dignity... thought to myself... well, she sings really flat... then again, has she a point? and, are more thinking like this? It caused me to ask myself some questions!

I sense a long thread ahead!!!

[lesley wright]

Is she simply going to go to Mass in the parish next door, then, or is she leaving the Church altogether? I work in a parish where I simply can't hear the homily (a combination of PP with slight speech impediment and no loudspeaker anywhere near the organ console) and I get my spiritual nourishment from (a) the music and (b) the support of not only my choir but also the wider congregation. It's awfully sad if she feels she's not getting that.

[lesley wright]

Oh, and the Word of God, of course, which is always read well - and despite no loudspeaker, I can hear that!

[VML]

Maybe she has things going on in her life that she cannot reconcile with the Mass.
This surely says more about your singer than about the priest.
Last year our retired PP came back to cover for ours while at WYD. A newish parishioner spoke to me after one Mass, incensed that he found this old priest 'fundamentalist and accusatory, I will not be coming here when he is doing Mass.'
The priest in question is an amazing priest who, over his years in our parish encouraged people to achieve more than they thought possible. He is still warm, gentle and self effacing. He is also quietly spoken and we never managed to improve his microphone technique or his singing, and he can be difficult to hear, but nothing in what the parishioner said rang true in any way, even from what was said at that Mass.
Maybe your priest is old. Is he so out of touch? I wonder.

[Psalm Project]

VML,
I strongly suspect the problem is with the singer. It is a pity - apart from flat singing, she was a good learner and a committed singer.
However, it begs the question: 'What is the motivation for people to join church choirs?'
Why are they there?
We all talk about a choir's 'ministry'... that term is obviously lost on some. Who is doing minister to who!
I know that there are several bereaved members in my choir - They get huge spiritual and musical support in the choir.

[organist]

Step 1 VML Pray about this
Step 2 VML Pray some more
Step 3 Consider getting the choir to pray for each other and the priest as a group
Step 4 Does the parish have a group to look at the readings of the Sunday with the priest? If not start one? Bring the readings into the practice by talking about music choices and the gospel of the day.
Step 5 Never give up and keep on praying. The Holy Spirit moves in mysterious ways and may be telling everyone something through this lady?

[JW]

Well said, Organist. We do need to support our priests and not erode their confidence. If we believe the Spirit works in mysterious ways He has put all our priests where they are.

[musicus]

If we believe the Spirit works in mysterious ways He has put all our priests where they are.

Facetiously, I think their bishops did that. More seriously, I can't help wondering whether such unquestioning trust has allowed things to have been done that ought not to have been done.

[organist]

I agree musicus. There seem to be few checks and balances or assessments of our clergy and the bishops just wring their hands in sympathy! And more worrying still after years of expensive training we lose priests in the early years of their priesthood! So sad!

[JW]

Musicus wrote:

Facetiously, I think their bishops did that. More seriously, I can't help wondering whether such unquestioning trust has allowed things to have been done that ought not to have been done.

Just for the record, No, I'm not into unquestioning trust either but our starting point has to be from a position of love and trust - we need to understand where they are coming from and where there are problems, discern whether it is us or they who need to change. We are more likely to alter things as a friend than as a foe.