Our last-but-one PP prepared a service booklet for an anniversary mass, attended by the Mayor. In the introduction it stated that "The Mayor will be welcomed at the door, and conducted to her seat in the font". It's not a very big font, but there is plenty of room at the FRONT of the church!
Browsing through the catalogue of a well known Church Suppliers, sourcing items for our new school chapel, I came across a statue of "St Pancreas" - patron saint of alcoholics, no doubt!
As the one 'blessed' with doing the weekly bulletin in my parish for the last nine years, I'm just waiting for/dreading the day when I accidentally RIP someone who is not yet RIPed in the Mass intentions. This happened to my predecessor but fortunately the RIPee saw the funny side of it and was able to confirm in person that 'reports of his death had been grossly exaggerated'!
I remember the sick, dead and 'anniversaries about this time' were being remembered in the Bidding Prayers, and we all prayed hard for L.Dead. The reader started laughing as she realised that this was the heading for Lately Dead - not the best time in the Mass to be laughing.
I hve also been to Masses where we have been invited to 'Pray for those sick of the Parish'