Limerick

[Nick Baty]

Removed

[The original poster has removed this post - Musicus, moderator]

[nazard]

My favourite:

There once was a pious young priest,
Who lived almost wholly on yeast,
For he said "It is plain,
We must all rise again,
And I want to get started at least."

Anyone else?

[Peter]

There was a young curate from Kew who kept a tom cat in a pew. He taught it to speak alphabetical Greek, though it never got further than mu. (Works better if you can use Greek characters - and, for that matter, carriage returns, which the system is resolutely refusing to give me!)

[musicus]

There was a young curate from Kew
who kept a tom cat in a pew.
He taught it to speak
alphabetical Greek,
though it never got further than μ.

(Works better if you can use Greek characters - and, for that matter, carriage returns, which the system is resolutely refusing to give me!)

Voilà!

Not sure why your carriage returns aren't working. Because this is HTML and not English, special symbols like Greek have to be entered as codes. See this helpful explanation. (The codes all start with ampersands and end with a semi-colon.)

[alan29]

I know a corker about a "Young choral scholar from Kings." Sadly it is far from suitable.

Alan

[Nick Baty]

Yes, I know one about an Old Bishop of Birmingham but I'm afraid it might cause a few too many bleeps.

[Peter]

Because this is HTML and not English, special symbols like Greek have to be entered as codes. See this helpful explanation. (The codes all start with ampersands and end with a semi-colon.)

Thanks, Musicus. I've added the page to "favourites" and expect it will prove very useful. Unfortunately with my antiquated browser all the symbols appear as codes too, but I think "µ" or even "µ" is the one I want - "it never got further than pi" doesn't rhyme!

[Nick Baty]

Would love to hear the one about the "Young choral scholar from Kings" so feel free to PM me.

In the meantime:

A cleric once heard with dismay
Each week he worked only one day.
He said, with a sigh:
"I cannot think why
I'm so busy on days when I play".

[manniemain]

An organist playing at Mass
Had problems with internal Gas
When the Priest at the front
Said "we await the last trump"
Got an answer that wasn't first class!

[Southern Comfort]

There was a young monk from Sophia
who had an unholy desire;
and the primary cause
was the abbess's drawers
hung up in front of the fire.

[manniemain]

A copy of Hymns Old and New
I found on the organist's pew
contains that bad line
about bread and wine
and heresies which just aren't true!

A Cinema organist in Ealing
Played music with so much feeling
In the opening bars of "the way to the stars"
The console rose up through the ceiling!

[quaeritor]

There was a young priest of Dun Laoghaire,

Who stood on his head in the Kyrie,

When people asked why,

He said in reply:

"It's the latest liturgical theory".

Shouldn't that be:

stood on his head in the Kaoghaire,
...
...latest liturgical thaoghaire. -?

[manniemain]

Yes, I know one about an Old Bishop of Birmingham but I'm afraid it might cause a few too many bleeps.

What would cause the bleeps - the limerick or the Bishop?