Requiem Masses & Funeral Services

[gwyn]

VML asked . . .

(abridged)'Discuss,' says Presbyter, noting what is current in funeral choices.
I'd like to ask what is suitable for liturgical use, what is allowed, and how far the bereaved have a free hand in substituting the readings with poems from the Coop funeral service handbook, Patience Strong type stuff 'chosen by Nan', and bits of Gibran?

We have our annual liturgy meeting this week. Is it uncharitable of me to raise these questions?

Our P.P. is quite definite:
"If anyone seeks to celebrate a Rite in a Catholic Church, the liturgical Rites laid down must be followed to the letter. If they want to make something up as they go along, they should hire a village hall and do it there. The Rites of the Catholic Church proclaim our belief---- nothing else is suitable nor necessary. The Church gives the celebrant various appropriate options to ensure 'adaptability'. Nan's favourite verse from Patience Strong is not in the canon of Sacred Scripture."

[VML]

Thanks Gwyn. That's pretty clear to me. Being assertive about it is my problem!

V

[nazard]

When people are selecting music for a funeral, I always suggest "Hodie in paradisium" (or a translation) for the recessional. I think it it totally apt and hauntingly beautiful. No one ever takes up the suggestion. Does any one else try to use this?

Interestingly, for funerals people seem to want the sort of music talked about on the "sixties" thread. For baptisms and weddings people seem to want traditional hymns, organ preludes, etc. Is there any logic behind this?

[docmattc]

I don't play at many funerals because of the day job, but when I do, I would observe that the family perhaps get a freer hand than they should in terms of readings and music. Playing a coffin out to "climb every mountain" was an interesting experience and if anyone suggests "it was a very good year" for my funeral I will return to haunt them

Perhaps too we need to somehow move on from the concept that the funeral liturgy is a "my favourite hymns" showcase. Nan might have liked Ave Maria, but does that mean it should be included even though it isn't appropriate.

When one reads books on funeral (and wedding) music, they tend to assume that both are parish events and many of the resources at the Sunday liturgy will be available. If this were true then good funeral liturgies would be easy to achieve, but of course this is rarely the case.
How does one introduce unfamiliar material (ie not Crimmond- again) when the only people present are the family, often not used to going to church and thus expecting to be an audience and not participants.
If at a funeral, the congregation is made up of maybe two dozen, weepy, 'unchurched' people, does expecting them to sing anything at all add to the liturgy, or actually detract from it? We've probably all accompanied embarrassed silence in our time.

[dunstan]

I was talking through my funeral choices with my (Methodist) wife and mother in law - they seemed a little uncertain about my wish to come in to the original words of "God of Mercy and Compassion". I think it was verse 2 "By my sins I have deserved death and endless misery, hell with all its pains and torments, and for all eternity" which they thought might come over a bit strong.

[gwyn]

Dunstan

I was talking through my funeral choices with my (Methodist) wife and mother in law - they seemed a little uncertain about my wish to come in to the original words of "God of Mercy and Compassion". verse 2 "By my sins I have deserved death and endless misery, hell with all its pains and torments, and for all eternity" which they thought might come over a bit strong.

It's been diluted to homeopathic proportions in Laudate. I prefer the original version since verse 2 is bang-on-the-money.
Snorting good sing too!

[Reginald]

A friend of mine came in to "Battle is o'er Hell's Armies Flee" He had style as well as a good resurrection-themed hymn!

[John Ainslie]

If at a funeral, the congregation is made up of maybe two dozen, weepy, 'unchurched' people, does expecting them to sing anything at all add to the liturgy, or actually detract from it? We've probably all accompanied embarrassed silence in our time.

This is a very real question - and it applies to weddings as well. Suggestions?

[contrabordun]

How does one introduce unfamiliar material (ie not Crimmond- again)

Should we though? It's a fine tune, the words say a lot and there's a good chance that even very unchurched people will know it. The fact that it (or The Old Rugged Cross or .... etc etc) is old hat for us is just a function of our being church musicians.

I'm baised about Crimond - I had it at my wedding.

We've probably all accompanied embarrassed silence in our time.

...weddings, too.

[gwyn]

Why not form a small group of singers dedicated to singing at funerals/requiems?

To simply churn our The Lord's my Shepherd / The Old Rugged Cross and their like simply tells mourners that the church hasn't changed since they went when they were aged (whatever).

We've sung Bob Hurd's Ubi Caritas at the last two services, one a requiem, one a funeral service. It proved a delight for many of those present. It's not difficult, to learn or to play and it creates that special holy sound.

[sidvicius]

Sounds like a workable solution, and kills two birds with one stone (if you'll pardon the funereal expression). However, attendees should be made aware of where their participation is through listening, and 'taking in' the hymn text, thus everyone should have a copy of the lyrics.

[gwyn]

Sid said

...thus everyone should have a copy of the lyrics.

Absolutely!

[contrabordun]

simply tells mourners that the church hasn't changed since ...

Is that a good or a bad thing?

[gwyn]

If it's Bind Us Together and the Israeli Mass played on a Bontempi organette and tabourine then it's worse than bad, it's *@$"%* awful.

[docmattc]

If it's Bind Us Together and the Israeli Mass played on a Bontempi organette and tabourine then it's worse than bad, it's *@$"%* awful.

This brings up a different issue for funerals (and weddings): all too often the family are left to their own devices to choose music without reference to any good practice guidelines.
We have covered 'our most hated music' elsewhere on this forum so its best we avoid this thread going down that route, however I feel it is not without irony that the Israeli Mass is number 666 in HO&N