Those were the days!
I grew up singing in a long established choir in a big old Jesuit church. The choir were very good and easy with each other - we were all neighbours, all in the parish, used to walk in the Walks together, etc.
One Christmas we had been practicing the Halleluia Chorus but on Christmas Eve with the turnout the choirmaster decided to do something else instead. A few of us were disappointed but such is life.
At the end of Mass, the priest on the altar announced that the choir had been practicing the Halleluia Chorus and it sounded wonderful and he was so pleased they were going to sing it now. The choirmaster was jumping up and down waving his arms at the priest to say "no, no, no" but the organist started playing it from memory, the choir started singing the first page whilst I ran to the cupboard and got the music out. We sang it brilliantly, far better than we had ever done in practice, probably because we felt we were getting one over the choirmaster.
Brilliant. Great memories and I thank God I was there!
See - I have started the thread off with a gentle tale from the choir loft.
Tales from the Choir Loft
Moderators: Dom Perignon, Casimir
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Merseysider
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Ah! Remember those days so well!
Gregory Murray's New People's Mass alternated with Missa de Angelis. Franck's Panis Angelicus pulled out occasionally, Mawby's Holy Week Book, Ette's Haec Dies on Easter Sunday. That was the complete repertoire: choir practice was 30 minutes straight after Sunday Mass for which our elderly PP would join us and everyone would behave and smile sweetly as though the Queen Mum had just arrived.
It was all so easy – you didn't have to think.
We had one turgid psalm tone week in week out: from "Out of the depths" to "Sing and shout for joy".
Timing was excellent: As soon as they had sung the Alleluia (with the same psalm tone for the verse) the men of the choir would troop downstairs and have a fag outside – perfectly planned to they could come back up just in time to intone Credo III.
And they would usually manage to suck a Fishermen's Friend between the Offertory hymn and the Sanctus.
And then I, young arrogant squit that I was, went on a course somewhere and returned suggesting we could sing the Great Amen – they all looked at me as though I'd suggested the paint their bottoms blue and run naked in the Corpus Christi procession.
Happy, happy days.
Gregory Murray's New People's Mass alternated with Missa de Angelis. Franck's Panis Angelicus pulled out occasionally, Mawby's Holy Week Book, Ette's Haec Dies on Easter Sunday. That was the complete repertoire: choir practice was 30 minutes straight after Sunday Mass for which our elderly PP would join us and everyone would behave and smile sweetly as though the Queen Mum had just arrived.
It was all so easy – you didn't have to think.
We had one turgid psalm tone week in week out: from "Out of the depths" to "Sing and shout for joy".
Timing was excellent: As soon as they had sung the Alleluia (with the same psalm tone for the verse) the men of the choir would troop downstairs and have a fag outside – perfectly planned to they could come back up just in time to intone Credo III.
And they would usually manage to suck a Fishermen's Friend between the Offertory hymn and the Sanctus.
And then I, young arrogant squit that I was, went on a course somewhere and returned suggesting we could sing the Great Amen – they all looked at me as though I'd suggested the paint their bottoms blue and run naked in the Corpus Christi procession.
Happy, happy days.
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Merseysider
- Posts: 430
- Joined: Fri May 07, 2004 11:21 pm
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Merseysider
- Posts: 430
- Joined: Fri May 07, 2004 11:21 pm
What have you popped out for during the sermon?
I suppose this could be a whole new thread: What have you popped out for during the sermon?
I know of one cathedral MD who was regularly seen walking quietly around the back of the presidential chair and out to the parish rooms where a good and kind lady had prepared him a cup of tea: this was, I should stress, his second Mass of the day with a rehearsal before each.
One my choir ladies recently popped out during the Gospel and returned just after the bidding prayers: "Sorry", she whispered. "I popped home. I was sure I'd left a pan on the stove".
Any others?
I know of one cathedral MD who was regularly seen walking quietly around the back of the presidential chair and out to the parish rooms where a good and kind lady had prepared him a cup of tea: this was, I should stress, his second Mass of the day with a rehearsal before each.
One my choir ladies recently popped out during the Gospel and returned just after the bidding prayers: "Sorry", she whispered. "I popped home. I was sure I'd left a pan on the stove".
Any others?
Our MD is too committed to disappear during Mass but our Organist often does; especially during the Homily. Mind you, as a regular inhabitant of Planet Zog (the Organist, that is) I'm not really sure whether he is ever really there! He is, however, an exceedingly good organist.
Just as a matter of interest, I am baffled about why the word 'cigarette' should receive a beep and why people would find it humourous.
It is a well known fact that in Rome elderly Cardinals, during long ceremonies, are often taken out to the toilet led by two acolytes. I can only presume that the acolyte candles are taken out so that they can light their cigarettes!
Just as a matter of interest, I am baffled about why the word 'cigarette' should receive a beep and why people would find it humourous.
It is a well known fact that in Rome elderly Cardinals, during long ceremonies, are often taken out to the toilet led by two acolytes. I can only presume that the acolyte candles are taken out so that they can light their cigarettes!
Canonico wrote:Just as a matter of interest, I am baffled about why the word 'cigarette' should receive a beep and why people would find it humourous.
It is a well known fact that in Rome elderly Cardinals, during long ceremonies, are often taken out to the toilet led by two acolytes. I can only presume that the acolyte candles are taken out so that they can light their cigarettes!
Let's just not go there, people...
M
Some of the men in the choir would disappear during the sermon for a quick fag but sometimes if it was raining, they did not want to go outside and get wet so would smoke on the stairs leading up to the choir loft. They thought it might be a give away if there were dimps on the stairs so they would put the dimps in the cracks where the mortar had come out over the years.
Ah yes, those were the days!
I remember one tenor who had the most beautiful tenor voice I have ever heard but, well let's just say, it was well lubricated! On the few occasions he made it to Mass he was not 'let out' for a fag (I know it will be beeped but am enjoying typing it) as he would not have returned but gone on to a pub.
There seemed to be more 'characters' around then or perhaps it was just that we did know each other, knew the families, knew the troubles. I believe that if that particular tenor attempted to join any choir I have been in since he would have been rejected straight off - the fumes would have been sufficient. But his voice!
Ah yes, those were the days!
I remember one tenor who had the most beautiful tenor voice I have ever heard but, well let's just say, it was well lubricated! On the few occasions he made it to Mass he was not 'let out' for a fag (I know it will be beeped but am enjoying typing it) as he would not have returned but gone on to a pub.
There seemed to be more 'characters' around then or perhaps it was just that we did know each other, knew the families, knew the troubles. I believe that if that particular tenor attempted to join any choir I have been in since he would have been rejected straight off - the fumes would have been sufficient. But his voice!
Dimp?
SOP wrote:Some of the men in the choir would disappear during the sermon for a quick *beep* but sometimes if it was raining, they did not want to go outside and get wet so would smoke on the stairs leading up to the choir loft. They thought it might be a give away if there were dimps on the stairs so they would put the dimps in the cracks where the mortar had come out over the years.
I haven't encountered the word 'dimp' before. Presumably, it's local-speak for a fag-end?
(I just love those beeps! And before anyone posts, yes, I do know how to circumvent them. But it's more fun not to.
)
M
This story is from within the last 10 years in a church that still uses the choir loft at the back.
Anyway, it was a Sunday afternoon, confirmations, the church was packed so people started going up into the choir loft. OK - but anytime the choir stood up to sing something, their chair was then sat on by someone else! We started retreating to be closer to the organ as it was difficult to see round all the extra bodies and the organist was also the choir master. If ever one of us put down a piece of music, it disappeared! By the end of the service we were like sardines squashed into a corner and just about able to sing. The organist/choir master was becoming adept at slapping hands away from his music as he was playing!!
Another time, in that same church, the PP was given a roll of carpet which was not too worn. So he put some down in the choir loft (tells you all you need to know about his musical ability!). Guess what? We all developed itchy legs and discovered there was something quite nasty about the carpet. It went and was not replaced.
Anyway, it was a Sunday afternoon, confirmations, the church was packed so people started going up into the choir loft. OK - but anytime the choir stood up to sing something, their chair was then sat on by someone else! We started retreating to be closer to the organ as it was difficult to see round all the extra bodies and the organist was also the choir master. If ever one of us put down a piece of music, it disappeared! By the end of the service we were like sardines squashed into a corner and just about able to sing. The organist/choir master was becoming adept at slapping hands away from his music as he was playing!!
Another time, in that same church, the PP was given a roll of carpet which was not too worn. So he put some down in the choir loft (tells you all you need to know about his musical ability!). Guess what? We all developed itchy legs and discovered there was something quite nasty about the carpet. It went and was not replaced.
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Merseysider
- Posts: 430
- Joined: Fri May 07, 2004 11:21 pm
I can think of several pornographic words which would not be bleeped because they also have non-pornographic meanings – tempting to list them but I won't as I'd like you to continue thinking of me as being chaste as the lily flower.
A friend of mine, an RE teacher, installed a safety guard on the computers in his classroom so the little darlings couldn't browse anything unsuitable. However, the particular method prevented them from researching anything to do with the Blessed Virgin Mary – apparently "virgin" is a pronographic word!
A friend of mine, an RE teacher, installed a safety guard on the computers in his classroom so the little darlings couldn't browse anything unsuitable. However, the particular method prevented them from researching anything to do with the Blessed Virgin Mary – apparently "virgin" is a pronographic word!
We had a choir loft in the church in my previous parish. On one dark evening in the middle of the week I arrived early to prepare for choir practice. As I emerged from the top of the stairs into the choir loft, I spotted a body-shaped mass on the floor, covered in a dark cloth. It gave me the fright of my life. I alerted the parish priest, who came to investigate. It turned out that it was a body - that of a local tramp who had found a cozy spot and fallen asleep!
M
M