The wickedness of face cream

[organist]

A reading from the epistle to the Filopians - Filipino version

[BobHayes]

'You who live Ann Drain forever and....'

[helen rees]

I worry about looking forward to world without N Damen who ever they may be but a smile is put on my face by another thread on this board and a vicar who insited we were singing the "Tedium"

[gwyn]

Through your goodness we have this swine to offer . . .

and, from my 1960s Church In Wales Holy Eucharist;
As Our Saviour Jesus Christ has taught us . . . so easily becomes tortus (as in tortoise) - - - I suppose you had to be there.
Taxi for one!

[Peter Jones]

so easily becomes tortus (as in tortoise) - - -

Oh Gwyn, where have you been? This is decades old:

What was Jesus' favourite pet?

His prairie tortoise.

[musicus]

At last I understand the "prairie tortoise" gag! Thanks for that.

[Peter Jones]

At last I understand the "prairie tortoise" gag!.......

[BobHayes]

'We may merit to be coerced to eternal life'

[alan29]

Did I mishear the bit about being summonsed to appear in one of the EPs?

[Southern Comfort]

A new biblical personage for our day:

Yesterday evening, at a Mass where the reader in his nervousness tended to rush groups of words together, the OT reading included

I am just gathering a stick or two to go and prepare this for myself and my son Tweet, and then we shall die.

[to eat]

It made me smile a lot, not least in the ironic light of what has been going on on Twitter these past few days.

[musicus]

[Nick Baty]

At our morning Mass, it was translated into Scouse: "I've not baked no bread".

[Hare]

At a school assembly last week a year 6 boy gave a "subversive" reading.......from the "Book Of Revolution"

[Nick Baty]

My PP is as much as a giggler as I am and, because we can easily see each other during the Liturgy of the Word, we both sit with eyes cast down – although I frequently see the corners of his mouth turning up! He's a kind man who would never want to offend our readers But, seriously, we do seem to accept some terrible bloopers. Parish musicians practise – we have to – but is ours the only parish where the readings often sound as though they've never been previously seen?

[alan29]

No Nick. We suffer fro sight-reading readers and a couple of improvisers when they get lost. But my personal bete-noir are readers who imagine that they add "meaning" by emphasising prepositions....... "And Jesus said TO the crowd"