Music for weddings

[docmattc]

Now is the 'closed season' for weddings (though I have one next Saturday) but probably a good time to talk about wedding hymns. How do people arrive at the choice of hymns in a wedding? Do you play whatever you're asked or do you get to meet the couple and discuss? I find that, if left entirely to their own devices the couple will often choose the "music that I sang in primary school": Give me joy in my heart, Colours of day etc crop up frequently. On the whole though now I meet with couples to talk about the music and suggest some hymns that they might like to consider. On the whole they're very grateful for this as they don't actually have a clue (more often than not The 'colours of day' options is default tat, rather than tat that they actually like)

There is however, not a huge range of specifically wedding music around- much of what is available is twee and sentimental (that's obviously my opinion only!) What hymns do you recommend? here are some of my suggestions:

God who created hearts to love LAAST UNS ERFREUEN M.D. Ridge
Lord and Lover of Creation LAUDA ANIMA or WESTMINSTER ABBEY Iona
Hear us now, our God and Father HYFRYDOL
God in the planning SLANE Iona
Any setting of Ubi caritas est vera

[docmattc]

I've just encountered one called "Be our chief guest, Lord" which is to the tune of Morning has broken. The idea of doing one hymn to the tune of another is very valuable at weddings when most of the congregation are perhaps not au fait with the full repertoire, but I'm not sure about this one as yet. I think it suffers from the text being put into the mouths of the couple getting married (not uncommon in wedding hymns), so I'm not sure it works when sung by everyone else. "Be their chief guest" would improve it considerably.

[docmattc]

I'm amazed no-one has replied to this thread, so I'm bumping it back up the page in the hope that it might get some discussion going.

[Nick Baty]

I'm amazed no-one has replied to this thread

Could be, Matt, that so many of us would rather eat our ears in a bun (and that's the cleaned up version) rather than even attend a wedding, let alone get involved in the music at one. Loathsome depressing events. I was invited to a Civil Partnership in August – I politely declined, telling them I had been looking forward to descaling the U-bend.

[musicus]

...many of us would rather eat our ears in a bun (and that's the cleaned up version)

ROTFLMAO !!! *
* = rolling on the floor, laughing my alb off (cleaned-up version)

[oopsorganist]

Haven't got any.

anyway do answer, someone, anyone.

I am going to be a mother in law. Oh my God. So everyone is talking about weddings.... for some odd reason I have never properly considered what would happen if an oopsie got wed in our church. Don't know why, perhaps some form of major denial?

Now I will be planning a wedding service to cater for a lot of non catholics, a few people very anti religion at all in his family, and the only people who may sing at all are my evil sister's family. But perhaps she won't come. I can get my littlie music group to help as long as they are still around next year, but who knows once they hit high school they drift.

I think Colours of Day would be over ambitious as congregational singing. The only main line hymns I could consider would be things like Amazing Grace, or maybe, We Plough the Seeds and Scatter, possibly This Little Light of Mine... well, silly I know, but what's to be done? Oh dear oh dear oh dear. There might be 250 people there! All not singing. My worst nightmare...........

[Nick Baty]

How about:
The party's over
Who's sorry now?
The man who got away

[Southern Comfort]

Or (from the Archdiocese of Dublin list of 20 banned hymns):

Yesterday [all my troubles seemed so far away - now I know that they are here to stay]
Lady in Red
Time in a Bottle

and my favourite

Help me make it through the night

[oopsorganist]

yes yes, there are some good ideas there.........

they have already threatened to have a Fancy Dress theme....... just agreeing the date...... luckily it can't be on the 31st October because that is a Sunday.

[VML]

No it's not; my son is getting married on 31st Oct next year: the only day they could find a decent reception venue in the area where they are getting married. Or are yours having a 2 year engagement?

[oopsorganist]

Nope it's next year.

But suddenly it is going to be September. I really could not cope with October 31st. What kind of decorations will you have? I am imagining pumpkins and all sorts.... ....... what will you do for music?

[oopsorganist]

arghhh
I looked up the school calendar on line and calculated from that. Now I don't know what day it is! Oh it is a Saturday .. I calculated from the Friday of half term not the Saturday............................

[VML]

It will be 100 miles away from here, but in the Catholic church very close to their house. We've (parents) only been to Mass once there but the organ sounded terrific. Not sure if we will get to do music. The colour scheme is dark purple and crimson, with lots of ivy, and I am privileged to be doing the church flowers. (They've gone through all the correct channels and checked with the parish flower team etc.)

We haven't got as far as hymns yet, but even when we married 40 years ago we chose 'Praise we our God with joy,' on the offchance that the tune was sufficiently well known for the non church relatives to sing.

For similar reasons our offspring have had: Cwm Rhondda, and Sing Hosanna so far.

A few years ago I played the tune of 'My song is love unknown' to a set of wedding words: The grace of life is theirs.. by Fred Pratt Green
I haven't seen it since or elsewhere, but just googled and it's there.

Not everyone is cynical about weddings. People are suprprisingly receptive to a dignified Nuptial Mass with lots of nice music.

Don't worry oops, you'll have a lovely time...(The bride's hairdresser might even turn up, the wedding might even be legal in civil terms as well as ecclesiastically, so long as the couple get the right bits of paper first.. The best man's car might not be broken into. You might even get out of the church and get to throw rose petals without a deluge and a nasty reception proprietor telling everyone there will be a £50 fine if confetti is used.)

[lesley wright]

I'm sure we all hope you have a lovely time when the wedding finally arrives, Oops, but beware - the role of Mother in Law is fraught with dangers at every turn. I have three daughters in law (well, two current and one ex) and even though two of them (the current two) are lovely, it's a dodgy furrow to plough (the ex has been heard to say that she always hated me ). I have been known to say to brides "take a copy of the hymn book home and ask your mother-in-law-to-be for her favourite hymn" - and hope it's not Colours of Day (or, worse still, I watch the sunrise!)

[docmattc]

I have been known to say to brides "take a copy of the hymn book home and ask your mother-in-law-to-be for her favourite hymn"

This is one of the problems with weddings (and funerals) in that the families concerned seem to regard planning music as a kind of 'desert island discs' excercise. No consideration of what music best complements the rites being celebrated, just let's have my/mum's/grandma's/next door's cat's favourite hymns.